THE MAFU CAGE

Saw this really obscure flick back in April, and liked it so much I hunted down a copy of my own on Ebay (for only $2.99 no less!). It's a movie from 1978 called The Mafu Cage (I guess it also went by the title My Sister, My Lover at some point), and it's a doozy. Lee Grant lives with her crazy sister Carol Kane. While Lee tries to carry on a normal life, Carol paints her face and sketches monkeys, when she's not beating them to death with chains. Mafu appears to be some monkey from her childhood that has traumatic significance - hence she names all her monkey "pets" Mafu before dispatching them to the great beyond. When they were kids, the two sisters lived in Africa for awhile with their dear old dad, some kind of naturalist, which I guess explains the monkey fixation.

When Carol graduates to killing humans (Lee's potential boyfriend who threatens the idyllic life the sisters have), things get really nutty. Oh yeah, and there is a big cage in the middle of their house, with chain restraints (the actual Mafu Cage) for restraining bad monkeys (and people).

The first time I saw it was over a friend's house. We rented this from a mom and pop video store (I bet this was the first time in many years anyone had rented it!) and the lady behind the counter admitted that this movie "was okay if you're both drunk and stoned." But I disagree. I enjoyed this bizarre gem stone cold sober (well, maybe not stone cold). But then again, I've always had a thing for weird 70's movies. Although, it would have gotten higher marks if the young Carol Kane actually showed some skin and went the whole body paint route. "Oh Latka!"

Chances are slim most people would be able to find this one, but if you happen to be in a video store and see this weird little gem sitting on a shelf somewhere, collecting dust, give it a try. That is, if you have a taste for the weird.

BLOODSUCKING FREAKS!

Okay, so what better way to start off a new blog that's dedicated to a gent by the name of Sardu than with a review of the movie that started it all. Bloodsucking Freaks (aka The Incredible Torture Show) is one of those notorious 70's horror flicks that instantly pisses a lot of people off, and just as quickly brings a smile to other people's faces. Why? Because I contend that even though you'll probably find this movie in your local video store under "horror" it's more of a sick, twisted comedy.

What's it about? Well, Master Sardu has a theater in Soho called Sardu's Theatre of the Macabre (natch). People go there to see weird "shows" where horrible things happen to "actresses" before your very eyes, in Grand Guignol fashion. Unfortunately, the poor actresses aren't acting. It's all for real. The unsuspecting audience just thinks its bad gore effects, but actually Sardu is also a white slaver with delusions of being a theatre impressario.

But ol' Sardu wants to go legit, so he kidnaps Natasha DeNatalie, the famous ballerina, to star in his next production. Of course her boyfriend the quarterback starts snooping around, with the help of corrupt NYPD cop Tucci. There's also an angry theater critic who is abducted to be "front row center" on opening night, a "doctor" who sucks brains through a straw, and a dancing dwarf with an afro!

If you like the movies of Herschell Gordon Lewis (and who doesn't!), you're gonna love this one. The cheesy gore effects are part of the charm, and the minimal plot, goofy acting and dark sense of humor throuhgout make this a midnight classic. The best scenes are of Sardu and his dwarf assistant, Ralphus. These two take male bonding to a new level, whether it involves darts (using asses as targets) or backgammon (using real "ladyfingers" as wagers). Sure it's not for the weak and the squeamish, but it's a lot of fun if you have a particularly demented sense of humor.

Some facts: This film, directed by Joel M. Reed, is one of the first movies that Troma ever distributed, and it was once picketed in Times Square by the National Organization of Women (not sure why they'd bother - this is a pretty obscure flick). According to the Internet Movie Database, Louis DeJesus, who plays Ralphus, first made a name for himself in porno as "The Anal Dwarf." He can also be seen in the futuristic (with more plot than usual) porno flick Ultraflesh. Also, Seamus O'Brien who played the illustrious Sardu was also appearing on Broadway in the musical The Fantasticks at the same time he was filming Bloodsucking Freaks. This was also his last (only?) movie, as he was soon afterwards murdered in his home by a burgular (!), which is depressing news indeed for anyone who enjoyed his performance in this film. He's quite a character, sometimes described as "a poor man's Vincent Price."

So what is this blog all about? We'll be talking about really weird fucking movies here. Ones that you might not talk about in polite company. So pull up a seat, rev up your chainsaws, and enjoy the ride!